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thebookofjeremiah · 18 days ago

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"The Horse in the Air." From the Book of Jeremiah, 11: 9-13.

The arguments between Jerusalem and Judah which ended the reigns of the Kings of Israel changed human history. We have been trying to make amends ever since. The attempts resulted in the deaths of millions of Jewish people and the threat continues to this day.

The problems began after Solomon grew too lax with the levying of taxes and his spending went through the roof. His son Rehoboam inherited the debt and tried to get the people to work harder and change their ways. His brother Jeroboam who was very spoiled took half the kingdom and Israel died in bits and pieces.

Observe the meaning of the kickstarters:

Rehoboam=226, ר‎ךו, ratchu, "boiled." "Fervent in spirit."

Jeroboam=818, ףיח‎, ephich‎, "snooty".

God tells Jeremiah this difference in attitudes is a game changer in how one deals with life; they are what are called altars, "before, and after."

Altars= 292, רץ‎ב, retz‎be, "a sequence." If one is performing merits, one will eventually find onself on the side of the altar with the Holiest of Holies, called Shabbat. If one is not meritorious, one will find onself growing distant from the Spirit of God and everyone will hate you.

God says both are the result of "conspiracies" to escape from the wrath of God. One is through the path of the nobles, the other the path of the criminal outcast:

9 Then the Lord said to me, “There is a conspiracy among the people of Judah and those who live in Jerusalem.

10 They have returned to the sins of their ancestors, who refused to listen to my words. They have followed other gods to serve them. Both Israel and Judah have broken the covenant I made with their ancestors.

11 Therefore this is what the Lord says: ‘I will bring on them a disaster they cannot escape. Although they cry out to me, I will not listen to them.

12 The towns of Judah and the people of Jerusalem will go and cry out to the gods to whom they burn incense, but they will not help them at all when disaster strikes.

13 You, Judah, have as many gods as you have towns; and the altars you have set up to burn incense to that shameful god Baal are as many as the streets of Jerusalem.’

The lessons learned from the fall of the Kingdom of Israel, the failure of the Jewish people to expound upon the Law have not taken root even today. The rise of the Catholic Church after the fall of Rome which devastated Jewish culture even further and etc. have also prevented the Conspiracy to give rise to another King or Kindgom of Israel.

The Conspiracy= 849,ף‎םט, hafmet, "the candlestick", AKA the Menorah. God commanded the Jewish people not to let the darkness of ignorance eclipse the power of the Holy Spirit and this you have done. I created this manifesto from a 100% English translation of the first three Parshiot found in the Torah. Read it and you will learn why the reconstitution of the Kingdom of Israel is mankind's greatest opportunity to separate itself from its violent unfruitful past:

v. 9-10: The Lord said there is a conspiracy among the people. The Number is 12639, יבםל‎ט, ybslt , "You will cook."

As my note above says, we must perform Rehoboam "and boil, become passionate." if we are to defeat the enemies of the God of Israel, who dared to attack it on October 7, 2023, and took up roost in the White House in order to continue to rape mankind. The Enemy has always resided in the Vatican. As I have said, Francis, you should never have touched Jud. We have a score to settle over this, and settle it we will.

v. 11: Therefore this is what the Lord says: The Number is 8752, ףזן‎ב‎, fznb, "to bring thoughts express on behalf of the authority."

Fez= man who wears the hat, like Pontius Pilate.

Nb=The root "נבא" (nb') signifies "to announce, utter, proclaim, or inform".

Noun Derivations:

נביא (nabi'): This masculine noun means "spokesman" or "speaker," and is the common Biblical word for "prophet".

נבואה (nebu'a): This noun means "prophecy".

נביאה (nebi'a): This noun means "prophetess".

v. 12: The towns will cry out. The Number is 12118, יב‎קיח‎, yavkech "so be it, unless you alleviate the circumstances."

v. 13: You have many gods and altars. The Number is 11671, יא‎ם‎עא‎, yama, "the direction of the Sea of Seas."

The direction is West, AKA back to Eden. One cannot re-enter Eden unless one can answer the question of the Archangel who protects the entrance, which is Michael, "Who is God?"

Recognition of the need to answer this question and do so correctly is the way to Rehoboam and the reconstitution of the Kindom of Heaven. Otherwise the Catholics and Mormons and their pawns will do as they have always done and cook us all down into a puddle of shit.

The final Gemara is ר‎ךו ףיח‎ רץ‎בף‎םטיבםל‎טףזן‎ב‎"נבאיב‎קיחיא‎ם‎עא‎, r‎techav ephich‎ retz‎bef‎metivamel‎tephzan‎be‎"neva'iv‎kichi‎m‎a‎, "The Tarzan Festival. The horse is in the air, the King of the Sea is coming in God's Name."

The King of the Sea was Moses who sealed the fate of the Egyptian slavers of the Jewish people by drowning them in the ultimate altar, the Red Sea. Althought Israel has been resettled by Jewish people it is not a safe place, it s a beggar, a mercenary in its own security. The filth are taking advantage of every possible opportunity to put an end to all of this and take that which they do not own or understand and continue to corrupt the human race.

The horse "the quantum of the army" therefore cannot stay in the air, it needs to return to its stable. All the enemies of Israel have to die, and its Kingdom must be reborn. If you are a rapist, have sex with minors, have been the cause of the detriment of your neighbor, then I am not afraid to tell you your time on this earth is done. This is what the Law of the Grammar says. Without it, the nations, new and old alike cannot stand.

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maguro13-2 · 11 months ago

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Darkness Reborn ~ Origins of the Ink Demon : The Final Struggle (3/6) ~

Maka Albarn : Alright, I'm finally here.

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : Well, this is the place.

Shotaro the Dokeshi : (as Shinigami) Sorry that we had to wait. (Converts to his true and original form)

Tsugumi Harudori : Looks like we're all in this together.

[Sonic Vs Shadow - Fumie Kumatani]

Maka Albarn : You all know the reason why we are here. It's because we wanted a challenge from the four of the Ohkuboverse that is us, I never thought that this would be our problem for the both of us, I though Shinigami would be the only to seek into power, but I realize that the Shinigami I knew was a charlatan, isn't that right, Shotaro.

Shotaro the Dokeshi : You betcha. Yohei, Mana, and I had to uncover your world's secrets and this is the truth that we all must seek into it, you actually thought that I made you the hero while being under one's influence, eh?

Tsugumi Harudori : Just to remind one teensy bit, I found myself that I wanted to be a hero of my true story and that what makes me the hero of someone that I wanted to become, the lies, the words, the fantasy role play in each of the stories. A charlatan like you have served you no purpose. That's why I decided that I'm being a worthless from Shinra's influence.

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : And I got a simple reason to ask you. If I was the hero of the original story before you, what kind of hero who wanted to kill God that easily, why being a God slayer was your choice, why you want to you show the world with courage. Who taught you in the story of your life as a hero?

Maka Albarn : Me, A girl who is destined to be under influence and I wanted to be a hero like you, Shinra! That's what you created my world and you were our inspiration in the past, the boy who created Soul World becomes the embodiment of Devil Chaos, Shinra Kusakabe. And what am I, I'm a girl who wanted to kick some villainous butts, I am the Meister, Descendant of Aliens, and hero of the real world, Maka Albarn!

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : I see then! But you know, I only made you think to ever step towards into my legacy and would eventually fall under my influence that has spread from the Ohkuboverse long ago! So that is why...I'll make sure to settle this score for us heroes! Let's see who is the strongest hero in the Ohkuboverse! You're going down, Maka Albarn!

Maka Albarn : Right back at ya, Shinra-san! But your heroing days are coming to an end!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : Okay, Tsugumi Harudori! If you really want a true story to end, then I suggest a true story needs to end and it needs a proper and better ending when it comes to Seven Rings in Hand!

Tsugumi Harudori : I won't go easy on you, Shotaro! A hero's tale must come to an end!

All : LET'S BEGIN THE HEROES-RENEGADE DUEL!

[For True Story by Fumie Kumatani plays]

"MAKA ALBARN VS SHINRA KUSAKABE"

Maka Albarn : Don't push your luck, Shinra! I'll make mincemeat out of you! Time for me and you to finish this quickly!

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : When this duel is over, I will show you the true power of Soul Resonance and bit of Chaos Control! Come at me, Girlie!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : I won't let you do this for Maka, Tsugumi! I know what I must gotta do!

Tsugumi Harudori : Balls out, Shotaro! I hope you like them getting crushed by my own hands! This is why I was born to fight a charlatan like you!

All : ...? Hey, this is the Sonic Vs Shadow Theme song! We need a battle song about the four of us battling against each other!

Jorgen : BINKY! TRACK 7!

Binky : Sorry! SORRY!

[Smile Venoumsly by Hidenori Shoji plays]

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : Now we're talking, we're kicking it old school!

Maka Albarn : Yeah? Well school's out buddy. I've been waiting for this for a long time.

Shotaro the Dokeshi : It's just you and me, Halberd Girl. Let's settle to this, Hero to Hero.

Tsugumi Harudori : Looks like you have some major balls, Charlatan of the Ohkuboverse. I bet I wanna know what it means to have no balls and I will make them drop hard! So what's it gonna be for you, clown? Lights out or Balls out, Kido!

"FOUR HEROES OF THE OHKUBOVERSE BATTLE".

(battle begins)

*DBZ SFX : Various Sound Effects*

Maka Albarn : I should've met you in my own time 10 years ago, Devil boy. You started Soul Eater from the very beginning, you said that I wanted to show the world what courage is! But no, you told me a lie and I knew exactly from the truth! You promised me that I would rescue Crona and I would be together! You Don't know what courage is all about! Why can't just tmake the make believes reborn, Shinra! Why things can't make believes reborn that are anew!?

Shinra : It's the reason that I made you and gotten everyone involved to be part of your story! Our author was such a weird man, but he got too stubborn and was full of greed, being a hero in the Ohkuboverse has a subject that lying hurts when it comes to the painful truth! I recreated my old world to create your world in the manga's story. The Time Eater exactly knew that I was scolded for recreating my world, I could've stopped Demon Vibe if everyone in the Ohkuboverse weren't too stubborn for the influence that I spread it!

Tsugumi Harudori : When I wanted to be the hero my story, you told that I would hurt a witch that were Ashley's people, I knew that you tricked me from the very start, my whole life has been a lie, a deception from you, Shotaro! That is why I defeated Shaula Gorgon because that wasn't a witch named Shaula, it was a heartless to that made us kill! You used everyone as puppets and got everyone involved! How does it feel like to a hurtful loser!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : To tell you the truth and to show you my appreciation, I was actually a slave to Darkside Death, Yohei said that I would become the God of Death that I would steal the title of that Deathless Girl Seto. I wanted to be part of the council that will make Shinigami, but the Men of Shinra's influence, made us so stubborn that he drove me to destroy non-heartlesses and monpolize political power! Power is such a indomitable thing to monopolize everything! That's why Darkside Death created the school as a facade to bring Planetary Conquest over Real World AU, Tsugumi! That's what makes heroes in the Ohkuboverse of the Past, Present, and Future! But with Darkside Death's Grasps, he chokes past, present, and future at the same time! This is the reason we blame humanity for making crazy-ass stories that were all make believes and bunch of baloney!

Tsugumi : Then why don't you make Ashley feel sorry that hurted her people and why don't just let them treat us as an equal! How does that sound, sir!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : I would have, if Darkside Death would never use me as an enforcer to Darkness, if witches think that were evil and the sworn enemies, then I say that this was our fault that we hurted her people and it's all because of the heartless and Shinra! Maybe I would too become an equal to Ashely's people!

Tsugumi : Then bring it on, Kid!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : You too, Halberd Knight! You're not half bad...for a hero like me!

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : I will be looking forward to a brand new start ahead of us, Maka! I'm gonna make it to the top, all the way to the end!

Maka Albarn : Survival of the fittest, Shinra! Survival of the fittest!

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : Well, it's no superior that survival is what we're trying to do, making us heroes to be living in our darkness while the other will be the sunshine to our light!

Maka Albarn : That's what I was...I was living in my darkness while Makoto was the susnhine to my light. Hero's can fall in love with darnkess and light together! I hope you wouldn't understand the true meanings of Yin and Yang!

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : You really are a little son of a b*tch. Hope things will even make you a lot sexier.

Maka Albarn : And that's a good suggestion, Shinra. But do you even kiss your mother when you open your mouth?

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : We'll be having a lot of fun together, the girls are gonna throw off their panties at me! I'm gonna prove to see who's the best hero there is!

Maka Albarn : You're on!

*DBZ/One Piece : Fighting Impacts*

(during mid-battle)

*panting*

Maka Albarn : You know...*panting* You're not...*panting* that bad at all. *panting* I've think I've underestimated you a bit different.

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : *panting* Like I was never gonna try. I hope you save room for your dessert, but this is it! It's gonna be the final showdown between you and me!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : This is where it's going to end!

Tsugumi Harudori : And I hope that everything will be a better tomorrow for the both!

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : And to this day forward...

Maka Albarn : The Ohkuboverse's finale will be...

Shotaro the Dokeshi : The Final...

Tsugumi Harudori : Struggle!

All : THIS ENDS...NOW!

*DBZ SFX : MELEE FLASH*

All : !?

*DBZ SFX : collapse*

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : Okay...now we're even.

Maka Albarn : I only wanted to end this, I just wanted to be the way it was. All of that courage that showed it was a load of crap anyway. This heroism in my development is bogus!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : Okay, I guess we admit our defeat...in a tie. Shall we call it a true?

Tsugumi Harudori : Truce.

(the four waves white flags to call it a truce)

Shinra : Maybe if we hadn't done something right. We should've done this in your era, Shinra. Maybe it's desperately that we could uncover Soul Eater's secrets right now.

Homura Akemi : (clapping her hands slowly, sarcastically) "Ha, ha, ha." That was quite enteraining, the four of you. I never thought that I had to say this, congratulations! You have finally solved the mysteries of the Ohkuboverse. You even make me proud, Maka Albarn. I would to be expected from a foolish girl like you, all of you have been the fools of a fool game. The one who framed wasn't the queen of Ink Demons, it was one of your friends that framed. More importantly, I had to wake you all up to reality and seek into truth. Your author was a such weird man and a complete imbecile. I never imagined that I would see his four protagnists fighting against each other.

Maka Albarn : So you've been watching us fight here. Hey, you're the girl who created this New Era!

Homura Akemi : That's right. I was the one who erased the world of Soul Eater, or should I say the remaining half of the Ohkuboverse erased by none other than me. Sorry that you never had a chance to see that punk kid named Crona ever again, you'll never find true love if you ever lonely feel again. Oh wait, you were in a love traingle between cool guy and Phantom boy.

Maka Albarn : What, you erased our universe for what?

Homura Akmei : I get to even scold you for being under Shinra's influence. You're still a girl living in the real world and that's the truth! Your mother is still with Lord Phanto III, your other father! You've been at the reaper's castle for around 10 years and not just 12 years. You all finally got yourselves what you deserve. So that's why I ended your by erasing the remaining half of the Ohkuboverse with the Time Eater's power, who happens to be my other half,a relative that I used to be part of.

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : (gapsed)

*flashes to a vision of his past...*

Shinra (Devil Chaos) : You...! I remember you! You're the relative to that entity who literally destroyed half of Soul Eater's universe! You're the Ohkuboverse's 2nd destroyer! I should've known it was you.

Maka Albarn : You mean that girl from a popular TV show is repsonsible for destroying our universe?

Shotaro the Dokeshi : She's the 2nd destroyer?

Tsugumi Harudori : No way! She destroyed Maka's world? But there is no way that a magical girl did that!

Maka Albarn : Why would you do this?

Homura Akemi : (chuckles) Admit it, Maka. (converts into her goddess form; Akuma Homura) It's the truth and it is the moment that you have been waiting for.

" Now I understand what this is all about. The Ohkuboverse was never really real anymore, there is one more thing to do so. It's literally the conclusion to this drama and mystery game."

"Everything has come to a conclusion now and I must break it to the point of no return. Whether this is going to end well or things might not end well at all, that is the question of how our story might be coming to an end!"

~ 117th : Fate of the Four Heroes ~

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heavenforblog1111 · 1 year ago

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Alright, well everyone wants to be successful. At least, that is what I think. So, what does it take to be successful. Now, a lot of people spend huge amount of time trying to learn how to be more successful. People attend tonnes of seminars, spend hours reading books, etc just to gain a little bit extra knowledge on how to become more successful. Well, it is correct to do so but at times such activities can give the impression that success is a very hard thing to obtain. At times, this notion is what keeps a lot of people from achieving goals that they feel are too hard to reach. WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN TO YOU? Well, first we need to understand what success is. Success may mean different things for different people. For some people, earning a lot of money is success. For some it could be getting a promotion in their job. For some kid in school it might be winning a competition yet for some other kid in the same school it could be scoring full marks in a test. So, the thing is different people have different priorities and for every person the definition of success could be different. HARD WORK MAY NOT BE THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS Now we tend to look in the outer reality and notice people and how they are doing in life. A lot of them may not seem as very successful to us. So, people usually tend to think of success as something very difficult to achieve. They feel that success can only be acquired by slogging for hours. Now, I don't say that by working hard you are wasting your time. But the thing that a lot of people might not be aware of may be the fact that there are a lot of things besides hard work that determine whether you will be successful or not. BELIEFS CREATE REALITY Now, I recently wrote a blog post on how beliefs create reality. So, the thing is that whatever beliefs you have about anything, you will experience them in your life. For example, if you feel that you can only get around 80% in your exams then no matter how hard you work, you will find that you won't exceed beyond 80% in your exams. So, your beliefs are something that affect your results in a huge way. FOLLOWING YOUR INTUITION The problem with the society is that a lot of people tend to look outside of themselves rather than listening to their own intuition. A lot of people don't question why things happen a particular way. A lot of people tend to mimic other people to be successful. I believe that one can always be successful if they walk their own path rather than following someone's footprints because they might not lead to the place where you want to be. Also, a lot of people tend to settle for less in life. I think such people have a mentality of not being good enough for certain things in life. CHOOSE A GOAL THAT IS FUN TO ACHIEVE Now, this is really important. Your goal must be something you really feel thrilled and motivated to work towards. If you are not having fun in your path while going towards your goal then it probably isn't worth it. Your goal must give you a sense of purpose and fill you with joy when you work towards it. A lot of times people work towards something that feels really boring to them. Remember the journey is more important than the end or the start. You can always find something that feels interesting to do. You don't have to do something that you don't like. You can always pursue your passion or anything that feels good to you. COMPETING WITH OTHER PEOPLE Your goal must never be to get ahead of anyone else unless you are running a race. What I mean to say is that you should aim towards achieving your own targets rather than outperforming someone else. For example, you and your friend are studying for an exam. If your motivation behind studying is to beat your friend then I guess you might be on the wrong path. The reason is that you might be able to beat him/her (although in most of the cases like this in my life it has happened the opposite way), but if your friend beats you then you will not feel good no matter how good marks you score in your exam.

If you get 95% and your friend gets 96% then you will not feel good about it despite scoring so well. So, set your own targets and don't compare them with other people. FINAL ADVICE So, my advice mainly is first of all remember that you can literally achieve anything that you really want to achieve. Know your goals. Know exactly what you want in life. Always see if there is something better you can achieve. Try to find the most suitable form of success for yourself. Once you know what you want, it becomes very easy to achieve your goal. Follow your intuition and you will get to the place where you have always wanted to be. Remember you can achieve anything that you want to achieve. Also, remember your job is to improve yourself rather than competing with other people. Be patient and persevere, you will definitely become successful.

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iwebnext · 1 year ago

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Shopify Website Design Tips to Create a Beautiful Site

In the cutthroat world of eCommerce, your Shopify website development is your online storefront, your digital billboard, your silent salesperson. It's the first impression you make on potential customers, and let's be real, you want that impression to be stunning.

But how do you create a Shopify website that's both beautiful and effective? Fear not, fellow entrepreneur, for I come bearing a treasure trove of design tips to transform your online shop into a visual masterpiece.

1. Theme Symphony: Your theme is the foundation of your site's aesthetic melody. Don't settle for a generic tune! Choose one that harmonizes with your brand identity – playful and quirky, or sophisticated and sleek? Each note should resonate with your brand's essence. But don't forget functionality – ensure it can handle all the instruments your product range demands, like high-quality zoom or 360° product views. Remember, customization is key! Don't be afraid to tweak colors, fonts, and layouts to make it your own signature composition.

2. Mobile Maestro: In today's mobile-first world, ignoring responsive design is like conducting an orchestra without a conductor. Every note, from layout to image size, must adapt seamlessly to different screen sizes. Use Shopify's mobile preview tool and real devices to ensure your site performs flawlessly on every stage, from grand theater screens to intimate smartphone solos. Prioritize speed and clarity – mobile audiences have short attention spans, so keep your pages uncluttered, load times fast, and essential information readily available.

3. Content Crescendo: High-quality visuals are like captivating vocals, but compelling content is the heart and soul of your symphony. Craft clear and concise product descriptions, highlighting features and benefits in a way that resonates with your audience. Think "show, don't tell," letting your product descriptions paint a vivid picture. Don't forget to tell your brand story, weave a narrative that lets customers connect with who you are, what you stand for, and why they should join your chorus. Embrace the power of storytelling – use blog posts, customer testimonials, and even video to add emotional depth and texture to your composition.

4. Photography's Podium: Forget blurry phone snaps! High-quality product photos are like star soloists, demanding center stage. Invest in a professional photographer who can capture your products in all their glory. Consistent lighting and backgrounds create a polished and professional ambiance, while showcasing products from multiple angles gives your audience a full 360° appreciation. Don't forget the power of lifestyle shots – show your products in action, being used and loved, adding that extra layer of emotional connection.

5. White Space's Whisper: Whitespace isn't empty silence; it's the space between the notes, allowing each element to breathe and resonate. Use it to create visual hierarchy, highlighting important elements like calls to action by surrounding them with a respectful pause. Grid layouts provide structure and balance, like a musical score, guiding the eye and ensuring harmony. Remember, less is often more – don't overcrowd your pages, let your content shine with ample room to express itself.

6. Color's Concerto: Your color palette can evoke emotions and set the tone for your entire brand. Choose colors that complement your brand identity, like a well-rehearsed orchestra playing in perfect harmony. Limit your palette to a few key notes, too many can create dissonance. Use color strategically, like a skilled conductor highlighting instruments to draw attention to CTAs.

7. Font's Forte: Fonts are the unsung heroes of design, the voices that bring your content to life. Choose fonts that are readable and appropriate for your brand, avoiding overly decorative or difficult-to-read choices. Think of them like a well-cast ensemble, each playing their role to perfection. Limit your font choices to two or three, too many can create a cacophony. Use font size and weight strategically, like emphasizing headlines with a bolder voice while letting body text flow smoothly.

8. Usability's Encore: A beautiful website is useless if it doesn't convert visitors into fans. Optimize your site for conversions, ensuring every element is in tune with your sales goals. Make navigation intuitive, CTAs clear and prominent, and checkout seamless. Remember, a website is a performance, not just a static display. Make sure it leads your audience to the desired applause – a successful purchase and a loyal customer.

By following these tips, you can transform your Shopify store development into a visual masterpiece that not only resonates with your brand but also converts visitors into loyal fans. So go forth, maestro, and conduct your online symphony to success!

#Shopify website development #Shopify store development

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mibeau · 2 years ago

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[Book Review] ✨THE WITCH OF PORTOBELLO✨

🧮 Score: 4.0/5.0 . “...In order for us to liberate the energy of our strength, our weakness must first have a chance to reveal itself.” -- page 284

This book is a captivating and thought-provoking exploration of spirituality, identity and the journey towards self-discovery. The author blended mysticism with philosophy through the interviews with various characters who knew the protagonist, Athena. Created a mosaic of viewpoints that gradually piece together the complex puzzle of her life.

Wow. Just, wow! Amazing actually. I mean, many other books/novels tell the plots from multiple perspectives, but certainly, unlike this book. Until the last few pages, I was still wondering: who’s the one conducting this research on The Witch of Portobello exactly? Was it Paulo Coelho, inserting himself as one of the characters? As much as I was wrapping the ideas around my head, by the end of the book, all questions were answered.

The themes of feminism, empowerment and breaking free from societal constraints are prominent throughout the story.

Midway through reading, I thought to myself: when her chaotic crazy life will settle down? What’s the purpose of this book? I was slightly jaded. However, at about the last 100 pages of the book, it's very crucial. I was stunned. All the plots building up to the last 100 pages were necessary for us to understand and empathise with the last 100 pages. The wait was worth it.

■ I saw a few people comment on Goodreads.com that this book is confusing, has a lot of back and forth, or it seems like a compilation, not a novel. It can be chaotic, I get that. I mean, that’s the beauty of this book! A rare form of storytelling! . ---- p/s: Although I do not condone and agree with many scenes and values featured in this novel, I must admit the content is complexly well-written and intriguing. I appreciate the author’s creativity. My favourite Paulo Coelho novel by far. If only the messages are not contradicting what I believe in and the fact that I feel sorry that the characters are still lost in life, I probably would give a higher rating. It is sad seeing Athena is already on the path, seeking to fill in the void she felt, yet she followed the lead of the disbelievers. Indeed, Hidayah milik Allah swt.

I am pretty sure, as much as this is a work of fiction, there are people on journeys like hers in real life. . ---- ● Buy a preloved copy here:

#book review #pauolo coelho #spiritual novel #fiction #bibliophile #carousell #Malaysia #used books #Preloved books #ichamicha

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denimbex1986 · 2 years ago

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'SINCE its release, Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer has become one of the most talked-about films of the summer, garnering critical acclaim and box-office success.

Focusing on the life of J Robert Oppenheimer, the film tells the story of the man widely regarded as the father of the atomic bomb and how his work came to be.

The film has a global relevance unlike any other given the debate over nuclear weapons with organisations such as the Scottish Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) and Secure Scotland campaigning for a world without weapons of mass destruction.

What then have anti-nuclear campaigners made of the film? Does it go far enough in depicting the horrors of the weapon that was unleashed or does it leave something to be desired in that sense?

The National spoke with Janet Fenton, a representative for Words and Actions which currently provides a home for two organisations committed to peace and sustainability – Secure Scotland and Peace and Justice Scotland – about what she made of the film.

Thoughts on Oppenheimer Coming in at three hours, there’s not a lot of ground that the film doesn’t cover and Fenton, who also holds a role with the Scottish CND, says that on the whole she admires what it achieved.

“I don’t want to seem ungracious because I think it’s great for us to have anything that is actually pushing these issues in front of the public”, she explained.

“I think the film has an incredible amount of skill and there was lots of it that was really good – the photography was exceptional; the acting was superb and I really liked the score.”

She admits herself that her criticisms are more about “the film they chose to make rather than the film itself” and that some elements did leave her “dispirited”.

Fenton explained: “It does some really interesting and useful analysis of the way in which internationally scientists were fascinated by nuclear power and wanted to work together in a spirit of adventure and discovery.

“But for me, it doesn’t underscore the appalling political opportunism towards those scientists in creating something that really marked the beginning of human behaviour making major geological change to the planet.

“It’s so accurate and carefully made but I also don’t think there was enough criticism of the period it represented and the macho-patriarchy ideals.”

Fenton also felt the film missed an opportunity in not making a reference to John Hersey’s 1946 book Hiroshima - which tells the stories of six survivors of the atomic bomb.

“It’s a seminal work that really captures the awfulness, misery and catastrophic humanitarian cost of that weapon.”

New exhibition As part of her work with Words & Actions, Fenton is promoting a new exhibition featuring images of the human destruction wrought by the dropping of the bomb at Hiroshima.

The International Campaign for the Abolition of Nuclear Weapons is presenting the exhibition jointly with Peace & Justice and Secure Scotland.

It's based in Edinburgh on 58 Ratcliffe Terrace and is running until August 28 from 10am-4pm Monday to Friday.

On August 6, the same day as the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, there will be a showing of A Guided Tour of the Unacceptable which deals with the Faslane nuclear weapon complex and gives an account of the history of protest and direct action directed at the base.

Fenton said: “We need to be made aware that these weapons are utterly horrific and inhumane.

“Being brought face to face with this reality can strengthen our resolve that such a crime against humanity must never be repeated.”...

What will the film’s legacy be? The release of Oppenheimer has been highly anticipated ever since it was announced. It’s likely to stay that way given it’s already being tipped for Oscar nominations.

But once the dust settles, will the world remember the film and use it as a springboard for wider discussions about the threat of nuclear weapons?

Fenton can’t say for certain but she remains hopeful.

“Anything that draws attention or brings the public into more awareness of the fact that time is running out for nuclear weapons is a good thing.

“It’s ultimately an issue of democracy. Scotland doesn’t want them, we’ve never wanted them and they’re here against our will.

“Scotland has no need for them and if this film makes people think about it a little bit more and want them to find out more then that can only be a good thing.”'

#Oppenheimer #Oscars #Christopher Nolan #Scottish Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND)#Janet Fenton #Words and Actions #John Hersey #Hiroshima #The International Campaign for the Abolition of Nuclear Weapons

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laresearchette · 2 years ago

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Friday, May 26, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: INFLUENCER (Shudder) BEING MARY TYLER MOORE (HBO Canada) 9:00pm RUN THE WORLD (Starz Canada) 10:40pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? THE NEW FACE OF HOLLYWOOD - A SOUL OF A NATION PRESENTATION (ABC Feed) 100 DAY DREAM HOME (Premiering on May 30 on HGTV Canada at 10:00pm) NIGHTMARE PAGEANT MOMS (TBD - Lifetime Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA BATTLE ON BUKA STREET THE GRYPHON LIBRE DE REÍR THE OFFERING

CBC GEM COLIN & JUSTIN’S HOTEL FROM HELL (Season 1)

CRAVE TV THE BOSS BABY BUFFALO ’66 EMPIRE OF THE SUN THE FIFTH ELEMENT JOY DIVISION LITTLE BIRD (Series Premiere) MARVELOUS AND THE BLACK HOLE MINARI MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING (1997) RUN THE WORLD (Season 2 premiere) SLAP SHOT TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY

NETFLIX CANADA BARBECUE SHOWDOWN (Season 2) BLOOD & GOLD TIN & TINA TURN OF THE TIDE

CFL FOOTBALL (TSN3/TSN5) 7:30pm: Alouettes vs. Redblacks

MARVELOUS AND THE BLACK HOLE (Crave) 7:30pm: A rebellious 13-year-old who is dealing with the loss of her mother embarks on an adventure with a children's party magician.

MLB BASEBALL (SN1) 8:00pm: Jays vs. Twins (SN Now) 9:30pm: Red Sox vs. Diamondbacks

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS (Global) 8:00pm: After an act of terrorism leaves him with a personal score to settle, Capt. Kirk (Chris Pine) defies Starfleet regulations and leads his crew (Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Zoë Saldana) on a mission to capture a powerfully destructive force.

GREMLINS: SECRETS OF THE MOGWAI (Cartoon Network Canada) 8:00pm/8:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Sam Wing is introduced to a world of magic in Shanghai. In Episode Two, Sam must choose between keeping Gizmo safe or returning to his normal life.

MICHIF COUNTRY (APTN) 8:30pm: Activist and artist KC Adams joins local Métis fishers to fish carp in Delta Marsh near St. Laurent; KC is also on the lookout for clay near the waterways for her own water vessel, an artistic clay pot piece.

MEMORIAL CUP HOCKEY (TSN/TSN4) 9:00pm: Quebec Remparts vs. Kamloops Blazers

CROSS COUNTRY CAKE OFF (CTV) 9:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Western Spring Playoffs: Four cakemakers from the westernmost provinces and territories are challenged to create "Outdoor Adventure" themed cakes with flavors and décor that evoke a story in nature.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DURBAN (Slice) 9:00pm: Annie confronts LaConco about her lies and mystery man.

MINARI (Crave) 9:00pm: A Korean American family moves to an Arkansas farm in search of its own American dream. Amidst the challenges of this new life in the strange and rugged Ozarks, they discover the undeniable resilience of family and what really makes a home.

#cdntv #canadian tv #cancon #canadian tv listings #michif country #cross country cake off #the real housewives of durban #cfl football #memorial cup

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thanksbutno98 · 2 years ago

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Fathers

Ghost x reader!fem

Warning: toxic ex, domestic argument, pregnancy, idk if you have daddy issues this isn’t for you.

Authors note: This one was cathartic for me to write. It’s a whirlwind. It might be my last Ghost fic for a little while. I also hardly edited it I’m just happy I finished it.

——————

It must be a dream, it could not be real. The twirl of a light blue tulle dress in the depth of the grey British morning. The bay windows create a picturesque silhouette of short hair and slim waist. It batted around his mind as the early morning air settled against his skin. Cold, unwelcome as he felt you, his lovers warmth some distance away. Farther than expected. Casting his line out deeper he hoped to catch you in this early morning wake.

Simon wasn’t sure who the woman who took over your vision was. But she was beautiful and familiar. The light pang of piano playing in a distant memory. A song his soul knew but could never remember once fully awakened.

“Think I dreamt about my mum.” He whispered into the crisp air, eyes fixed on the silk white curtains blowing in the breeze of the half open windows. Chipped white paint keeping them eagerly at bay.

“Was she pretty?” you mumbled into his shoulder, half awake. The whisk of white tulle settling as you drifted back to sleep. One memory hanging in his mind. What did mum look like?

__________

“Mel please settle down!” You started to shout but cooled off by the end.

The thought of those tulle white curtains helped. The thought of Simon’s mum and how much he talked about her recently kept you warm. You still didn't understand where this came from; but it was comforting. Cursing inwardly at your lack of patience you begged yourself for more. Your hair was thrown in a messy bun. Clothes hanging baggy on your hips and shoulder; they were your much larger lovers.

“You’re so mean.” Your daughter shouted, slinking to the floor in a heap.

“Baby, you gotta give me some slack. I’m trying my best.” You looked at her begging she would take it easy on you but you knew she wouldn’t.

Lost in her own emotions she flailed and kicked throwing the second tantrum of the night. You had to stay clear of these moments not wanting a kick to your growing belly. It hurt you that you weren’t able to comfort your daughter in the way you wanted to and the way she needed. It saddened you more so that she had been acting out significantly more than usual with her birthday approaching. It was starting to become a ritual. Her birthday being a pain point in her young life.

“Oi, phones ringing.” Ghost peaked into the bathroom for a second. Your phone looked small in his calloused hand as he tried to pass it to you mindlessly. Hazel eyes trained on the television hoping not to miss the football match.

“Can you answer. I’m trying to finish up Mel’s bath.” You snapped. It was unlike you to lose your temper but as the days went by you noticed you had less and less of it.

“Why don’t we swap.” Simon said simply helping you off the edge of the tub and handing you the ringing phone. You were seven months pregnant and struggling with your lack of mobility. The lack of self you were feeling. Everyone was so worried about the baby they forgot about you.

“You sure? She just needs pj's. She’s all washed up.” You stated not actually caring but handing over the small gray pajama set. He rushed you out checking the screen quickly. Then turning his attention to the tantruming girl.

“I’m sure, sweetheart.” The words didn’t mean much as the man peaked back out to check the score as cheering echoed through your somewhat vacant apartment.

Terms of endearment were used meticulously by Ghost. ‘Sweetheart’ always meant he was going to be by you as soon as things had settled. Whether that be a crisis or him watching something on tv; he could even be focused on his phone it did not really matter, it would just have to grab his attention. He said it mindlessly and you were sure he only ever used it to keep you at bay.

‘Dove’ on the other hand was the only other name Simon used which was coined by Price. The first time Ghost heard it was when you were the only helicopter pilot able to get to them on an evac; the other two pilots claimed it was impossible and they didn't want to be shot down. Being a rookie no one thought you would be capable. This included Ghost who called it dumb luck and claimed you were a fool to attempt something like that.

Price had praised you once out of harm's way; ignoring your call sign for the much more suited nickname. Claiming ‘Dove’ would be a much better name as you were dressed in all white military gear, having picked them up in the tundra and being their saving grace. This was the first time you and Simon had ever met and it was what started the turmoil between you. He thought you were reckless and you thought he was cold hearted.

There was a juxtaposition to you and Ghost from the start.

Dove: a symbol of love and life.

Ghost: a symbol of shadow and death.

You two were like summer and winter. Yin and Yang. The perfect, imperfect balance.

-------

Stepping out of the bathroom you could hear Mel giving Simon just as much trouble as she’d given you.

“Hello?” You answered into the phone with an exhausted huff. Making your way to the living room couch that was covered in boxes and essentials for moving. You tried to sit down but quickly started pacing as you heard the oncoming message.

“This is a collect call from the Federal Correctional Institution of Manchester. This call is from inmate-” The eerie voice clicked out. “Peter Meadows” your ex’s voice came through the speaker followed by the robotic woman’s. “All phone calls are subject to recording and monitoring. To reject this call press one. To accept press two.” Shock took over and you were lost. How? Why? You needed to know how the hell Peter ended up in jail and why the hell he chose to call you of all people. You clicked two before your brain had thought through the action.

“Y/N! Thank god, I knew you’d answer!” The rasp of his voice was deeper than usual as he whispered into the receiver. Accent thick as if he was forcing it.

“Knew I’d answer?” Your voice was far from quiet as you checked over your shoulder hoping Ghost was listening in; but he wasn't.

“Well, you are the reliable one. And way too curious for your own good.” Peter was flirting and it always made you stiffen in discomfort.

“Why are you calling me. This isn’t-“ he cut you off.

“Look, I got pinched here in Manchester. Could you bail me out? I got most of the money we can go to the ATM as soon as you come get me.” There was a rustling on his end as he had a muffled conversation with a passer by.

“Why are you there? And pinched for what?” Trying to keep your cool you were confused and flustered at the turn of events.

“Stuff I’m not willing to say on a recorded line, doll.” Peter was as serious as he was capable of.

“Peter-“

“You bail me out and I’ll be so good to Mel. Promise! No more scary movies, no more undermining you, no more no shows. I’ll be there for her birthday next week and holidays too! I’ll get her a huge piñata. Biggest one she has ever seen.” The desperation in his voice made his words seem true to you. You had to try and be smarter than that. You had to see through his false promises even if you hoped they would be true.

“She hasn’t wanted a piñata since she was three.” You commented.

“Please” he sounded desperate “fuck I got no one else who’ll come. Don’t, don’t let me rot here. Not when I came all this way from Sydney for her birthday.” That is when the memories of Peter flooded in. You hated him but this was your downfall as a person. You always searched for the good in people. And man was Peter good to you. Love came so effortlessly. A shared life of wanting not responsibilities more than each other. The life you two shared and wanted to keep. It was going to be your sacred haven just the two of you. That was until Mel. It was known Peter didn't want children and you were okay with it. Until you weren't. He detested you for having his child and he took it out on you. The begging pleading for you to not go through with it was insistent until he realized he couldn't convince you otherwise. At Mel’s expense and it took years for you to start to realize it and still you did not want to believe it.

“Fine, I. . . Gotta talk to Simon first.”

“Big foots never gonna let you come. You capable of making you own choices?” Peter always had a way of pitting you against people especially Simon.

“Aren’t you the one asking for a favor?” You snapped.

“Doll, please. You know I wouldn’t call unless it was bad. Don’t let me miss my daughters birthday.” Biting your nails you checked down the hallway. Praying Simon would come save you from the horrid decision you were about to make.

“How much is it?” You shamefully asked.

—————-

“Is Peter not coming to my party?” Mel’s voice broke the silence. Ghost and her had settled into their own activities as their dinner plates sat on the coffee table. Mel’s vegetables eaten and Simon’s pushed to the side, now being slowly picked at by the young girl as she created a picture on the empty paper.

“Mel, your mum said he can’t. And since when have you been calling him Peter?” Mel shrugged as she searched her crayon box for the perfect shade of purple.

“Why can’t he come?” She seemed unimpressed by her own question.

“He works on an oil rig. It’s just not possible.” Ghost returned her nonchalance. Mel stared down at her paper for a long while as Simon brought his focus back to the TV. His thoughts wandering on about what work was going to be like in the coming months.

“Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Why weren’t you my daddy?” Melody’s voice was just above a whisper. Crayon gripped so firmly in her hand it might snap.

“It doesn’t work that way.” There was a firmness to Ghost’s voice he didn't expect, considering he felt so unsure.

“Why?” She was desperate. Not a feeling a child should know.

“Just doesn’t, kid.” With that last question Ghost chose to sit up turning to the young girl. He watched as the gears turned in her head. Eyes fixed on the half drawn picture. Looking at him then away, then back at him. Finally making up her mind she spoke after a hard swallow.

“Do you know what I did that makes Peter not like me?” Simon sat there in his spot on the couch lost for words. Dumbfound. The pained look in that little girl's eyes reminded him of himself. How he used to wonder what he had done for his father to hate him. He faltered for so long she spoke again.

“Are you gonna end up not liking me too?” Mel asked.

“I-. . . Fuck, kid. . . Look, I wish I was your dad, Mel,” Simon stared into her green eyes and saw himself. The unscathed version that needed guidance and reassurance at this age. “You are an amazing kid and you haven't done anything wrong. Nothing, wrong!. . . There’s nothing you can do that’ll make me not like you.” Simon could feel the pressure building behind his eyes as he spoke the words he so desperately wished to hear when he was a child.

“Promise?” Mel picked the lavender crayon from the bunch keeping her head hung low. Using her sleeve to quickly wipe her tears away in the same fashion you always did. She was clearly learning how to hide her sorrow the way you did.

“Swear on my life.” Without thinking Simon had reached over the coffee table pulling her chin up to look him in his eyes. Mel bit her lip at his words and put her opposing hand on his forearm. Holding his arm for a second she smiled and brought her attention back to her paper. Blinking rapidly a small tear fell on the paper and she wiped her nose and eyes with her sleeve.

“Fuck, is a bad word. Just so you know.” Her lips were pursed as she tried to maintain a straight face only for a giggle to escape soon after. God, was she so much like you. Barley six and she was able to disarm a tense situation with humor. She had your laugh and the way her eyes sparkled and crinkled at the corners was a reminder of how similar you two were and how easy it was to love you both.

“I’m old enough to use it. Now don’t go saying it in front of your mum.” Ghost warned settling back into the beat up couch. A small smile gracing his lips.

“You’re a lot older than mummy. Is she allowed to say it?” Mel questioned.

“I am not that much older.” Ghost countered indignantly.

“You look like you are.” The eye roll that came along with her statement was infuriating.

“God, your mum wasn’t kidding when she said you were great at humbling people.” Nostrils flared, Simon tried not to take offense at the comment.

“Don’t know what that means. But you should get noodles for mummy. She mentioned them this morning.” Mel turned her attention to the tv as the channel flicked over to a Disney movie. This was Ghosts attempt to get her to stop talking.

“Y/N’s been at the shop for awhile. Think she went somewhere else?”

“Dunno, but she had her liar face on.” Mel shrugged.

“Liar face?” With that Simon was sitting up hid gsze harshly fixed on the young girl.

“Yeah it’s the face she makes when she tells you she’s not sad or ate something more than cake and brownies today.” The little giggle that left Mel was a satisfied one at tatalling on you.

“I knew she ate nothing but sweets today.” Ghost grumbled. Mind raising about what you were doing.

——————-

“You bailed him out!” The bark that came from Simons chest was one only used on the battlefield. That is how angry you had made him.

“Don’t, yell at me Simon. This is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” You warned having sat yourself down on your bed. Hand resting on your baby bump.

“You’re the one who said we have to talk before we make big decisions.”

“It’s not a big decision, he already gave me over half the money back. I’ll have the rest next month.”

“These hormones have really gone to your head.” He was pacing the room a hand running through it hair.

“Simon, Mel deserves to have her father show up for her birthday and he can’t really do that behind bars.” You begged him to understand.

“When has he ever shown up for her that wasn’t out of spite!?”

“I-“ you paused lips quivering as you tried to keep yourself from crying. Simons was right the hormones had been going to your head. The look on your face did not stop Ghost from his tirade.

“Her third birthday, he only showed up because he caught wind I was going. Five months ago he took her out every Friday to that damn theme park while I was in Russia and tried to shag you. Should I even mention when he found out you were pregnant. The list goes on. God knows what he’ll do when he finds out we got hitched last month.” The volume of Simon's voice carried through the apartment. Mel had certainly heard it and was now aware of the fighting.

“Keep your voice down!” You begged tears following. “She’s starting to hate him, Simon.” Your voice cracked pathetically “And it hurts to see something like that happen. I don’t- never thought she would end up feeling that way.”

“He’s failed her, y/n. She has every right to hate him.” Simon punctuated his words harshly.

“She’s only five! He’s really hurt her that much and she’s only five?” You stood squaring your shoulder and standing your ground. Ignoring the way your knees shook. “I should’ve protected her more- kept him away from the start. I just thought that maybe just maybe he’d actually do the right thing this time. Clearly you think I’m a fool.” The dread that filled your heart was becoming unbearable.

“He’s never going to. What’s going to make you accept that? For fucks sake Y/N. I’m here, I’m the one who chose to stay. He left!” Simon was half a foot away as you saw his pain stricken face. Desperate eyes. It was as if you failed him.

“I get it. But I can’t ask you to be Mels father. That’s not fair to y-”

“Who fuckin cares if it’s fair? Ask me. Don’t assume that I’m anything like that prick because I’m not. I’m not as cold as you have me out to be.” A firm hand was on your shoulder as Simon begged you with his eyes to just give in to his words.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You cried. You cried pathetically as you sank back onto the bed hating the decisions you made.

“Hey, look at me. I was okay with taking this on the day I asked to meet Mel.” Your tear stained cheeks were between his gruff palms and he raised your head to look at him.

“I just keep screwing things up for her.”

“You're doing a fine job, love.” Leaning in your foreheads met as you watched Simon’s eyes begin to water.

“All this stress from work, the baby, the move and now this. I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t know what to do.”

“Then stop trying to do it all by yourself, let me help you.” Simon’s large thumbs brushed away your tears and you did the same to him.

“Mel started calling him ‘Peter’ a few days ago. Said she’s rather not have a dad.” There was a shakiness to your voice as you tried to not start crying again.

“If it helps at all.” Simon paused his eyes averting then closing with a pained look on his face. “I know what it’s like to hate your father. So at least I’ll be able to help her through it. She won’t have to feel alone or bad about it.” The confession pained your heart.

“I’m sorry Simon.”

“I’m not going to be anything like that bastard.”

“You’re nothing like Peter.”

“No.” There was a long pause as you felt Simon's body stiffen to a rigidness you'd only ever seen at funerals and on the field.

“Nothing like my father.”

__________

You were three days past your due date. Simon was a mad man in the house preparing for everything. Double, triple checking it was baby proofed. You had just moved into your new home and he was convinced since he didn't know the home well enough something would happen to you, or Mel, or the soon to be baby. You had to force him out of the house to go get takeout so you could have some room to breathe without him hovering over you. Asking you every few minutes if you were okay. Constantly asking you to sit down. It had Mel on edge as well, she was watching you like a hawk.

Pacing around your kitchen you just wanted this baby out. That's when the idea of spicy food came into your head. It helps induce labor right? At least that's some wives tale you heard. Rummaging through the cabinet that's when a sensation of peeing came over you. It didn't hurt it made you question what had just happened as you watched water leak down your legs onto the floor. Oh shit, this was it.

“Fuck me dead, this is happening.”

A shriek was heard as your eyes peered down at the mess on the floor, too shocked to even speak. Panic flooding you. Of course you had sent Simon out when things came to a crashing reality. Without missing a beat your daughter Mel was rushing over to the cordless house phone to ring your husband. You fumbled around slipping on the puddle you made almost taking a nosedive. Stabilizing yourself on the fake marble countertop you felt a white hot pain shoot up your spine and around the underside of your belly.

“Daddy the babies coming!” Mel was in tears as she squealed that Simon needed to get home right away. Perched up on the counter bare feet black from exploring the grounds of your new home. For a moment you were distracted because this was the first time you had ever heard Mel call Simon dad.

“Did you just say daddy?” You asked through gritted teeth. Sigh contently as the pain subsided.

“Mummy just peed all over the floor. HURRY!” Mel was an absolute wreck making your heart swell. Never in a million years did you think this would be so traumatizing to her.

“Mel I’m okay, it’s just gonna a ROUGH. . .” Your hand shot to your belly feeling another sharp pain as Mel’s shaky hand tried to pass you the phone. These contractions were insanely close apart making your head spin in worry. “Few hours” you finished waving your hand not wanting the phone. You could hear Simon shouting your name over the phone but in bad judgment you hung it up.

“Melly, go get that bag next to the front door. I need to change.” With that quick pattering feet left the kitchen as you tried to center yourself.

Little did you know the scolding you would receive once Simon barged through the back door. Barking orders at the pair of you reminding you of your days in the military. He was quickly knocked down a peg as you reminded him who was in charge when you yelled at him for being a tirant. Reminding him who was about to push a watermelon out of their vagina.

You even blamed him for this on the car ride saying his ‘five minutes of fun better be worth it.’ Your words stung as he thought back nine months to the day he came home from deployment and barley lasted five minutes. He was still embarrassed about it, but chose to ignore your comment due to the amount of pain you were in and you were not your normally sweet bashful self. You thanked your lucky stars he was so good in a stressful situation as you began to freak out on the ride to the hospital. Mel learned every curse word in the back that ride.

——————

The sky was a beautiful shade of baby blue painted with picturesque fluffy clouds. Birds chirping and the wind chimes of your nearby house echoing. The breeze blew ripples across the pond in your backyard. You begged and pleaded with Simon that this was your dream house the first time you walked the property. Hating saying no to you, he put a deposit down on it. Did he complain for the coming years about how it was way outside your price range, yes. But he love the little life you were about to build here.

Right now he despised you for having convinced him to buy this house. The nearby tree had fallen after a lightning storm leaving him to break it down and dispose of the wood. Now here he was with your father axes and shovels in hand while also being lectured.

“She deserves to have a husband who’s home full time. She also deserved more than signing some paper. An actual wedding would be nice.” This was far from the first time your father had talked Simon's ear off about this. You begged him to stop bringing it up but the man was relentless.

“Yeah, I won’t be deployed until she’s ready. Unless there’s a nation wide crisis.” He muttered digging his shovel as deep as he could around the rotted stump.

“She needs a lot less romance. No more babies. Got it?” Your father was far from smooth and tended to say exactly what was on his mind.

“Talk to her about that.” Ghost couldn't help but chuckle as he thought about how needy you could be. Not that your father needed to know about your sex drive but it kept Simon on his toes.

“I mean it. Stop bedding my daughter and she’ll be fine.” The drawl of your father's accent rang thick. It was clear he meant it. Only making Simon grin wider.

“I’ll take her to bed as much as she wants, no more than that. She’s pushes the envelope more than me, sir.” Simon caught the shovel thrown in his direction. An eyebrow quirked at the old man's attempt at aggression.

“Gonna have to try harder than that.” Simon quipped having said shovel ripped out of his hand as your dad went back to work in a huff. A long silence fell upon the men. That’s when it felt like a good time to ask Billy things you were too closed off to share.

“What was Y/N mum like?” Simon asked pausing his work.

“Chrissy? She was the most enchanting woman to ever have her feet kiss this earth. She used to spin around and dance in the kitchen or by the piano when she was pregnant with Y/N. Y/N does it too and I’ve never told her that her mum used to do it. I guess some things just follow us.” The memories of the past took over the older man's vision as he spaced out into the bliss of memories. His words held a bleak sentiment that Ghost hoped didn’t mean the same for himself. If things were to follow him it would be detrimental to his growing family.

“When my mum was healthy she did the same thing.” Ghost could barely bring his shovel into the earth as he thought back to his mother dancing around the kitchen jazz music playing in the background. Back when she was clean and loved him. It was one of his earliest memories.

“Huh, I guess it’s us fathers who ruin it all.” Your dad laughed heartily expecting the same reaction from his son in law. It fell on deaf ears. Pride was all Simon felt as he watched you emerge from the backdoor of the run down house with your new born daughter suckled to you. Mel trotted behind chalk in hand.

“Not me.”

You were dressed in a thin cotton sundress painted in a floral design. The skirt blew in the wind like a curtain in front of an open window. Waving them in you called Simons name that tea was ready. Your hair was ruffled and eyes heavy but the look on your face was of pure bliss. This life suited you, and maybe it suited him too. A smile spread across the stoic man's face as he drank in this memory that would keep him alive in the battles to come. The picture of you is so beautiful in your sundress, hair a mess, eyes crinkled at the corner as you laughed. Fae cradled carefully in your arms as you directed Mel on how to draw the Manchester United Logo in chalk on the drive.

“Not me.” Simon spoke to himself. Swearing he would be his own man and be the father he always wanted. To both of his girls.

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley cod #ghost #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #simon riley mw2 #ghost mw #cod #cod ghost #domestic ghost #ghost domestic #141 #141 cod

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writingpei · 2 years ago

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wicked games (l.m.) - chapter six

previous chapter series masterlist next chapter

pairing: lee minho x reader genre: academic rivals to lovers wc: 2.6k words

color me green

everyone ought to know not to mess with the extreme hormonal imbalance that gets tangled up in the form of teenagers.

because classes started in march, the education system pulled out one of the most important events that students would most like to experience during the school year, valentine's day. what happens is that, in haneul high school, the students could not accept such slander. in the 90s, the celebration of kiss day was created; it consisted of a day that was common to see heart-shapped confetti across the floor in the halls, people crying over being rejected and others with teddy bears and bouquets of red roses under their arms, bragging about the amount of confessions they received.

to say that day made y/n want to gouge her eyes out with her bare hands would be an understatement.

everything about the celebration made her feel odd. she could not shake feeling like an alien observer watching the girls her age and all their unspoken yearning, how they fell apart over loud displays of affection and exaggerated gifts. what's with the allure of romance anyway? she couldn't quite grasp it within her fingers, and for some reason, it stressed her out.

shaking her head as a way of physically trying to shift her focus to another corner of her mind, she quickly settles into thinking about hyunjin and theorizing how much her assistance had actually helped him on his math test.

she hadn't heard from the boy the last few days, ever since the test. she figured he must have blacked out after studying as intensely as he had for the first time in his life. or he probably failed, and that wouldn't be kind to her ego.

when she first stepped into school in the chilly morning, she noticed that the confetti hadn't been thrown all over the place yet, so she still had the margin to pretend that day was a normal day.

what caught her eye, however, was the employees hanging up a gigantic sheet of paper on the wall. a cluster of people started forming in a circle, curious eyes examining the words printed in oppressive black ink, some were on tiptoes trying to catch a glimpse among the sea of heads.

y/n hurried into the middle of the crowd. even though physical contact with so many people made her skin sting, she slipped into the tangle until she came to a stop in front of everyone to see all the rankings on display.

once she found her name in the first column of the chart signaling her perfect score, a wave of relief and satisfaction emanated through her entire body.

regardless of how focused she was on her own accomplishment, her eyes were captured like a magnet to the name right below hers, and, to bring even more joy to her day, with a not-so-perfect score...

while she made 100 points, lee minho's name got stained by a hideous 98.

after the hellish week the boy had put her through like he had decided out of the blue to tease her countless times more than he already did on a day-to-day basis, y/n allowed herself to rejoice at the feeling of pride she felt because of the score.

caught out of her blissful trance, she realized classes were about to start, if the halls beginning to overflow were any indication to follow. her steps were determined while she made her way to english class with certainty that nothing would strain her mood.

when her eyes found minho sitting at the back of the classroom with his pet friend on his side as usual, she didn't refrain from her calculated stride until she came to a stop in front of the boy. minho, seeing her approaching, already masked his lips with the classic sarcastic smile he always performed flawlessly whenever he saw her, taking advantage of any prospect to get her worked up.

"what do i owe you the pleasu-" he started, but quickly realized she wasn't having any of it at that moment.

"shut up, now it's my turn" she interrupted, crossing her arms and lifting her chin, superioring herself through her ever-so-fierce body language. "you got 2 math questions wrong on the test? what's going on with you? i hate to say it but you were better than this back in the day..." a smirk that held no trace of kindness bloomed on her face as a silent challenge to his own, that started to die down by the second, cheeks falling.

he just frowned as if he had come upon something that had a bad smell, disgust being physically transferred from her to him, tables turning.

"you know it's not like me to put the blame on other things when it comes to my performance, but taking this test in the same classroom as you really affected me. i almost had to go outside to throw up 3 times just because i couldn't shake off your presence inhabiting the same space as me."

"oooh, taking it to heart now, are we minho?" a humorous little laugh escaped her lips as she lightly tapped her fingers on her arms.

"this is much worse than when you're tearing your hair out just by listening to me" he rolls his eyes and turns his body completely towards the blond boy who was aggressively drinking from his juice box, not daring to spare a glance to the frightening girl in front of him. "she's so annoying, seriously..."

"so you can play the game but i can't?" the question sounded dumbfounded and she felt anger starting to bubble on her chest.

"uhm, duh-uh" he replied as if it was obvious. "i prefer it much more when you are locked up in your own brooding"

"i don't get locked up in brooding" her tone got higher at his ridiculous accusation. "i'm sorry to spoil your childish ways of entertainment but my pride won't allow you to remain unchecked"

"talk about your pride" he scoffed with all his might, disdain evident in his voice. "don't go putting all your judgment over me on a single test, especially the first one. i don't want to see you crying later when i start to take this seriously."

"what ever made you think that i'm afraid of you taking things seriously? if you are trying to humiliate me by attempting to put me at your level, i can tell you is not working" her hands slipped from her previously crossed manner, and descended to settle on top of his desk, leaning in as a way to provoke him. "your immaturity has no bounds whatsoever."

minho looked into her eyes in silence for a chain of seconds until he groaned in desperation, eyes rolling back and an irritated sigh escaping his lungs.

"ugh, today is going to be a good day for me filled with chocolates and love letters, so stop trying to spoil it with all your nagging on my ears" he said, eager for the conversation to end soon.

minho hated it when she was like this, and getting 2 questions wrong on a 40-question test was disgraceful enough.

sometimes he found himself believing that both of them were one and the same while being two completely distinct planets all at once. he could tell that her talent for consistent pestering was just like his, but he couldn't help but prefer when she was the one hot-faced and struggling to hold her unceasing rage from lashing at him in a deadly streak.

and he really was looking forward to all of the confessions he was going to receive throughout the day, that hadn't been a lie. the compliments that were thrown in his direction by lovesick girls always amused him and tickled his undying ego.

"you never fail to make me sick to my stomach" she says with a deep frown, knuckles turning white at how hard they were being pressed against his desk.

"speak to my hand" minho raised his hand towards her, mocking her with movements imitating someone talking. "ah, i'm park y/n and my favorite pastimes are terrorizing innocent classmates and institutionalizing extreme boredom" he spoke in a demon-like voice as if trying to imitate her, and she only managed to scoff at his antics.

it took all her strength to walk over to her usual spot at the table at the front without caressing his pretty face with an uppercut.

he was outrageously unbearable, lee minho was the worst of the world.

"you fell asleep in the middle of the math test. you wouldn't do that if you had doubts about any of the questions" yongbok started right after she left them be, looking at him from the corner of his eye, pinning him in an accusatory stare.

"the last few days have been weird for me, yongie, give it a rest" minho dismisses his friend while sulking and crossing his arms, face falling slowly until his forehead reached his desk.

"if you say so..."

“why, are you insinuating something?” it didn’t take many seconds for him to get defensive as he always did over topics like this. topics that were about her.

minho liked to perceive himself as a person who was fully aware and in control of why he did the things he did, and having someone who knew him as well as yongbok insinuating things bothered him beyond measure, making him doubt his own conscience.

“oh, no, never” he answered sarcastically and kept chugging the straw coming out of the orange juice box.

“ugh, whatever” minho says finally, shrugging and pretending he didn't care. "you've been weird as hell these past few days too..."

the class went by smoothly and y/n believed that her good mood would be unshakable for the rest of the day. it all ended in shambles when the bell rang and people started to leave the room to go to their respective next classes.

it all ended in shambles because it was at that exact moment that hwang hyunjin burst through the door like a cannon, wide eyes scanning the complexity of the classroom in search of the girl.

"y/n! i've been looking for you everywhere!" hyunjin's voice calling out for her in such an open place and in the midst of so many of their classmates put y/n on alert instantly.

she didn't even think about looking to the back of the class to check if he was still there.

"um, what do you need?" asking carefully collected, she looked barely managed to scan around her to see if there were still a lot of people in the room who hadn't left yet.

"you are never going to believe it!" he was anything but quiet, still daring to bounce up to her in his unmatched good humor. "i got 30 out of 40 questions right on the test! can you believe it? can you?" he exclaimed, and she realized she hadn't looked up the boy's name when she'd seen the rankings earlier.

regardless of the non-existent relationship she had with hyunjin, the information left her very much satisfied. knowing that she had the ability to teach well meant that she could land some tutoring gigs down the road.

"that's nice, hyunjin" she responded with a small sign of contentment on her face.

while she started bending down to pick up her bag from the floor and going on her way, he stopped her by handing her a white bag.

"this is a thank you present for you. as soon as i entered the school and saw the rankings, i skipped the first class and ran to the bakery near the school to buy this. it's a cupcake, no big deal!"

but y/n's focus had been ripped from the words that came out of the mouth of the boy in front of her and thrown to the small whispers she heard behind her back as soon as he waved the gift in front of her face.

"oh my god..." a girl said.

"so the rumors were true? they're going out with each other?" another trailed.

y/n gritted her teeth and exasperation started building up inside her chest.

"hyunjin" she called him, firmly yet quiet as ever. "have you gone insane?"

"what? why?" the big smile that previously covered his face was replaced by an expression of pure confusion. "you don't like cupcakes? i'm sorr-"

"today is kiss day, you dumbass" she explained, holding the bag he had given her with only one finger as if she touched it more than necessary, she would be consumed by it on the spot.

"oh" was his first reaction, realizing that he had completely forgotten about the day. however, when he finally came to realize how what he just did could create such horrific misinterpretations, his eyes widened and he let out another "oh!", this time sharing y/n's panic.

after his comprehension of how grave the situation was, hyunjin's first instinct was to snatch the bag from her hand without hesitation or grace. "it's nothing like that!" he exclaimed loudly almost as if he was screaming at her, noticing that there was a considerable amount of people still in the room who were eyeing them curiously.

"tutoring session this friday again!" was the only thing he accomplished to say before running out the door with the same agitation he had entered it.

all's well that end's well.

"i hate cupcakes anyway..." she whispered at last, leaving the room without looking any of the people who saw the scene in the eye.

as if ignoring that everything that had happened would immediately be forgotten and left behind by everyone. she knew she was fucked.

"we're going to be late for the next class, minho" yongbok called over to the boy who was still sitting fixedly in the chair, eyes narrowed at what he had just witnessed.

with his best friend's call, he put the bag on his shoulder and started walking next to the blonde in wary strides.

"who was that poor guy?" he asked, a lump in his throat that felt like something else was trying to escape from his lips, but he couldn't put it in words.

"that's the hwang hyunjin you asked me about these days" yongbok clarified, not missing the bewildered tone coming from his friend.

"oh. i really had no idea who he was until two minutes ago."

after a few seconds of walking in eerie silence, a squeaky voice shouted "minho!" at their back, and echoed down the hall.

when they both stopped at their steps and turned around, they saw a small girl with long dark hair and red cheeks running towards them with a giant box of chocolates.

"this is for you!" she held the box out to him, starting to smooth her hair in a not-so-discreet way from the second he took it from her hands. "my name is bae minah, let's hang out sometime."

minho smirked mechanically but the genuineness was nowhere to be found. he still leaned into her slightly as if to take a better look at her, flattering the younger girl in the process as her eyes started to blink rapidly at the sight of him growing closer.

"yeah, sure, i'll think about it. bae minah..." he said and she opened a big - and pitiful - smile.

and so they both went continued their way, leaving her behind.

"take this" minho held out the box to yongbok, who looked at him confusedly and adjusted his glasses that fell down his nose.

"don't you want it? it's a super expensive brand."

"nah" he said, looking away. "i'm actually feeling a little nauseous."

stay tuned for chapter 7! ☆

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bassettmemes · 2 years ago

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OLIVIA RODRIGO, UNRELEASED. ↳ lines from unreleased songs and snippets posted to olivia rodrigo’s socials.

“every girl at the party was looking at you.”

“i wonder what i’d say if i knew back then that the brown-eyed boy’d be my best friend.”

“now everything reminds me of you.”

“your picture’s framed all over my room.”

“as long as i’m your darling angel, i don’t need anything in the world.”

“i like you so much it’s kinda gross.”

“i bring you up in every conversation.”

“we’re young, i know, we gotta be patient.”

“i wanna do everything with you.”

“you think he thinks you’re pretty, i can guarantee he does not.”

“you must think you’re so attractive when you’re playing dumb.”

“i hope you trip over the boundaries that you’ve stepped right over.”

“you’re his apocalyptic crush. he’d like you only if there was no one else on earth.”

“if we all died, you’d be the one who’d get to kiss him in the ashes.”

“so, hey, what are the chances of world war 3?”

“he’s never gonna like you like he likes me.”

“your voice through the phone tells me way more than i’ve ever wanted to know.”

“you say that you need your space, and letting me go was the hardest thing you could do.”

“you said you loved me, but you’re with her now.”

“you said you couldn’t live without me.”

“i don’t wanna take her place.”

“you were never that public with me.”

“i don’t need you to explain.”

“me and my heart will be fine.”

“maybe it’ll all work out in time.”

“you deserve so much more.”

“seems like i always hurt the ones i love.”

“i watched the light drain out of your eyes.”

“it’s no surprise.”

“i’m too young to be your mother.”

“i’m not smart enough to be your therapist, either.”

“i’m not gonna make you change, that’s above my pay grade, babe.”

“you never take things seriously.”

“i think you’re really dope.”

“this is love, right?”

“my heart is telling me we’re gonna be the exception.”

“my guilty catholic heart tears my guilty self apart on the floor.”

“i wish you did something bad so we could settle the score.”

“maybe your life is all flowers.”

“maybe i’m insecure.”

“i’m happy with me, i think that’s supposed to be enough.”

“i created you to be plastic and deadly.”

“i created you to hide my own envy.”

#olivia rodrigo sentence starters #olivia rodrigo sentence starter #olivia rodrigo prompts #writing prompt #writing prompts #rp prompt #roleplay prompts #rp prompts #sentence starters #sentence starter #lyrics sentence starters #lyric sentence starters #lyric meme #olivia rodrigo lyric meme #olivia rodrigo lyric starters #lyric starters

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lipstickstainz · 4 years ago

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true lies - s. r. (11/15)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: you know what's coming - the truth.

Warnings: angst, minor violence

Word Count: 2k

A/N: i listened to my favorite saddest songs while writing. be prepared. thanks for your kind feedback! gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

previous part

JJ snaps you out of your thoughts. There's an expression on her face that you can't find the words for. "Y/N? What does she mean?"

You have to swallow. Your throat is tight and you can barely breathe, so you cling to her to keep from sinking to the floor. You can't take your eyes off the two in the interrogation room.

"What deal?" Spencer sits up straighter than he already does. His whole body is tense.

Cat shakes her head. "I thought you weren't here to talk about her or you."

When Spencer slaps the table with his palm, she doesn't even flinch. You do, the harder, and JJ's hands clench into fists. But you only notice this out of the corner of your eye. "What deal, Cat?" His tone is harsh, leaving no room for Cat's games.

She sighs. "Maybe you should ask her yourself. After all, she did come here with you, didn't she? I don't think she'd skip this dance." Cat looks past Spencer to the one-way mirror, straight through it, as if she knows you'd be standing right there. Her grin is crooked and ugly. "Come on, Y/N. You should know I don't bite. Not without notice, anyway."

You feel JJ's gaze on you as you enter the interrogation room without a word. You close the door behind you and out of the corner of your eye you notice Spencer looking at you. But your gaze is fixed straight on Cat. You stop right at the door.

"It's good to see you again, Y/N."

You don't have to be a mind reader to know what's going on in Spencer's head. It's practically written all over his face. Again?

"Hi, Cat," you reply curtly. You feel like shooting her.

"I always knew you lived dangerously. But I didn't think you were stupid. Yet you were the smartest one on your team. No offense, Spencie." She says it like she's bored out of her mind, not like the whole situation could completely escalate in the next second. Spencer tries not to let on, but you can read the confusion on his face. "I guess I was wrong about that."

"What are you talking about?" you ask, involuntarily taking a step forward. Cat takes it as a sign to keep talking.

"I know you killed my partner in crime. Must have been quite a mess, I'm told. Shot right through the head. Kudos, Y/N. I knew you were smart, but you're also badass. Who would have thought." She raises her hand and inspects her filthy and chewed fingernails. Her gaze drifts to you without her moving her head. She looks at you through her eyelashes, which makes her look crazy. "Quite a pity about him. But he was really just my accomplice's boyfriend. So, not worth mentioning."

Accomplice? Boyfriend?

It only takes a brief moment for everything to come together in your head. Apparently, all emotion falls from your face, because Cat looks extremely pleased. "You didn't play by the rules, Y/N. And now someone else has to pay for it."

In three steps, you've crossed the room and pulled Cat from her chair. Before Spencer can stop you, you push her full force against the nearest wall, causing a gasp to escape her mouth. You press your forearm against her throat and she lets out a hoarse laugh. Her gaze mirrors yours. Fierce and unyielding. The pressure on her throat intensifies and she has to cough.

You feel big hands on your shoulders, yanking you back so that you stagger and bump into the table. For a brief moment, you want to fight back as you leap forward again to put a stop to Cat once and for all, but Spencer extends his arm to allow some distance between you. You don't look at him. Out of anger and out of shame, because this isn't you.

"What's going on here?", he finally asks when you've pulled yourself together a bit and he's sure you won't kill her the next chance you get. "What's she talking about, Y/N?"

Cat's look is challenging and you know full well she's not going to say anything. She's dropped the bomb and now it's up to you to make sure the explosion isn't too devastating. You look at Spencer and tears form in the corners of your eyes. There's no way to get around it. And he better hear it from you than from some crazy psychopath. You owe him that much.

"When you were arrested", you begin, hoping your voice doesn't sound as brittle as it does, "it was clear to me from the start that Scratch couldn't be responsible. When you were taken to Millburn Correctional Facility instead of protective custody, it should have been obvious to the others. It was no accident that they sent you there. It was too personal." You can barely look at him, which is why you stare at the floor. "It couldn't have been Scratch, but there was no one else who had a score to settle with you." Your gaze shifts to Cat, "Except for her.

I had no proof, nothing. But I was one hundred percent sure she had something to do with it. So I talked to Emily. She gave me the day off, and I came here." You suppress the urge to knead your hands, so you shove them into your pants pockets. Your gaze wanders back to the floor, though you'd like to look at Spencer. You want to know what's going on inside him, but you don't dare. "Cat denied having anything to do with it at first, but I didn't believe her. And then she made a deal."

"And that included?" asks Spencer. You have to swallow.

"She would get you out of jail, after all, she put you in there too. I knew you wouldn't make it through jail. And not because you were too weak, but because I knew there were some people there who wouldn't bat an eye to hurt a FBI agent like you. And I couldn't stand that, so I went for it." With each word, your voice grows quieter, though you try to sound as determined as possible. But the pain weighs you down and takes away your breath. You remember the visit then, and what it had cost you.

"And what did she want in return?" Spencer's eyes glisten as if tears have formed in them. He blinks once, and the shine disappears. "What the hell did she want, Y/N?"

You can't stop the tears streaming down your cheeks Your heart is beating fast, like it's about to jump out of your chest. You take a deep breath and brace yourself for what follows. "She - she wanted me to leave you. Cat knew that prison could never hurt you the way I would if I abandoned you. If I left, with no explanation and no goodbye."

Spencer's shoulders sink and his muscles are no longer stretched to breaking point. You don't dare look at him, so you stare at Cat, whose grin has actually widened. Psychopathic sadist.

"Actually, Y/N was never supposed to come back either", she continues the explanation, but Spencer continues to look at you. "That was the deal. You weren't supposed to tell anyone about this and never come back, but you didn't stick to that. You thought if you killed the guy and I continued to be in here, you could go back home and get on with your life." Her grin disappears and suddenly she looks incredibly bitter. "Very reckless, if you ask me. My birdie knows you're back home, and as a warning, she left you a trail of dead married men. Apparently you got the message, after all, you're here. That they are dead is all your fault, Y/N. Because you couldn't stay away from your beloved Spencer." She looks from you to Spencer. "It's tragic, isn't it? She loves you so much that she took on all that pain just so you could get out of jail. How incredibly selfless of her. And I'm pretty sure you weren't exactly kind to her when she returned, were you, Spencie?"

Spencer and you can't look at each other, so heavy is the pain on your shoulders. All the anger, despair, and confusion that had spread through you since you saw each other again gives way to an all-consuming feeling of pressure that you can't shake. The only thing that can give you both some comfort is the clarity that has been created. Spencer now knows what really went on, and you no longer have to keep secrets from him. But the matter is far from over.

You look to Cat, but can't find the words. She's won.

You leave the interrogation room without looking at Spencer or saying another word. What could you have possibly said? JJ looks at you with widened eyes as you rush past her. She has her cell phone to her ear, probably talking to Emily, but calls after you, but you don't stop. The air in the building is stuffy and you feel like you're choking on it. Your heart is racing and you feel sick. You just want to get out.

"Y/N." Spencer's voice forces you to stop. You stop so jerkily that you almost fall. When you turn to face him, he's standing right in front of you. His gaze is hard. He opens his mouth, but he doesn't know exactly what to say either.

"I can't, Spencer", you beat him to it. You want to turn and keep walking, but his hand curls around your arm. At the touch, you're struck by lightning.

"Don't you think we should talk about this?"

You should. Definitely. "She had the men killed because I returned", you whisper. "She killed them because I couldn't take it anymore. Because I wanted to be with you. It's all my fault, Spencer. And I'll take the consequences for that."

"So you're just going to leave? Without explanation and without goodbye?"

You don't want to leave, quite the opposite. You would love to throw yourself into his arms, kiss him and never let go. You want to tell him you love him, but you can't. "I can't stay, Spencer. If I did, she would kill more people. I can't be responsible for that. I'm sorry."

You turn away from him, but as you take a step forward, Spencer pulls you back, making you slam against his chest. Your hands settle on the soft fabric of his shirt as his settle on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. His expression has changed. There is deep sadness in his eyes and he tries to blink away the tears that have formed in the corners of his eyes, but they fall down his cheekbones. All at once, he looks so young. "Promise me you'll come back? Back to me?" One of his hands clasps both of yours, still resting on his chest. He holds them tightly, afraid of losing you again.

You smile weakly at him and tears come to your eyes too. Your smile is honest, but sad. "I will always come back to you."

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